I feel like a lion in the middle of the ocean. Don’t understand? Let me explain then.

Well if you didn’t know (not trying to be rude here), lions live on land and not in the ocean. So seeing a lion in the middle of the ocean would be a bit weird and out the ordinary to say the least.

But as I was sitting down watching television the other night at my grandparents house in DC, that thought hit my mind. That analogy I should say, so let me elaborate…

I see myself as a lion because I want to be the pride leader. The pride being my future family of my own and me being a leader now that I am saved and Christ is my Lord. As Jesus did on His time on earth, I want my Father in Heaven to lead me, and thus me lead my family as it states in the Bible (Ephesians 5:22-23).

So with that being said, that is why I chose a lion.

But now, I say that I see myself as a lion in the middle of the ocean because currently I have no family of my own and secondly, I feel VERY out-of-place here in this world. It’s almost as if the fish under the water I am treading each day see me, but they see me as another fish and not a lion. But I see them as fish and not a lion if that makes sense.

Though I have the family I was born into, I am referring to a wife and kids in terms of family as well. Again, my own pride in which I am the leader.

So each day here on earth I feel like the lion in the middle of the ocean. Struggling to stay afloat and as much as I may want to sink and give in, the Holy Spirit and instincts won’t let me drown. The fish below again only see me as another fish just swimming along as they don’t have the eyes of the Holy Spirit, so they just tell me to keep swimming and stop stressing out.

When I tell the fish I cannot just be at peace like them, they just keep swimming and move on. Not understanding the pain I am going through feeling different from them.

As a believer in Christ, people don’t necessarily see the internal warfare that is going on in your life. They think you just need to go to church more or pray more even. Not seeing that the battle is within and greater than they can imagine most times.

So like the lion in the middle of the ocean, it is easier to just keep your head above water and talk to God. As He seems to be the only one to truly understand your situation and not the fish under the water.

But as you keep your head above water and continue to talk with God, He begins to bring you comfort. Comfort you never felt from the fish under the water. Comfort knowing that God sees you as a lion and not a fish like all the other fish do. There is still tremendous pain though as you look back underwater and see so many fish swimming along all happy. Fish enjoying their lives with their friends and family underwater, but you can’t feel that happiness personally.

Being a believer, through the internal warfare you face on a daily, Satan never ceases to show you the happiness in others. Whether on television or out in the world. Making your pain just that much worse as you watch others seem to enjoy their lives while you suffer. Suffer internally where no fish or man can see.

And as the lion, you try your best to keep your head above water but it’s hard. You enjoy from time-to-time looking underwater and seeing fish happy because that is the closest you can get to happiness of your own. But when it get’s too much and you breach water again, you roar angrily at God. Asking Him when your day of happiness will come like the fish under the water. Asking Him when the suffering will stop so that you can find peace. Asking Him when you will reach land again so that you can finally stop treading water everyday to finally rest.

Because you did start out on land and remember the days. The days as a young lion cub with your family running around land with your friends. Finding happiness, peace and rest with your pride.

But because you wanted to explore the ocean unlike your other lion cub friends, the tide took you away and now you are lost at sea. You’ve been lost so long at sea that the fish have now began to see you as one of their own.

Just like life in a way. If you stay in sin for too long, you begin to look like everyone else in sin.

So like the lion, I struggle each day to keep my head above water. I look down from time-to-time at fish living a happy life, but feel comfort with my head above water as I talk with God. Each day I bring my frustrations to Him and get closer to Him through the pain. Or should I say the lion does. Hoping that one day after Him and I have built a greater relationship and He has taught me everything He wants me to learn, that He will bring me back to land. So that I could lead a pride of my own with the wisdom and strength He has provided me. With a newfound relationship with Him. 

The lion hopes that by stepping out and being courageous by taking on the ocean as a young cub when all his friends were scared that it will be worth it in the end. He sure hopes so.

I mean God has taken care of the lion for a long time now in the middle of the ocean. I am sure God wouldn’t bring him this far to leave him now.