This is just my interpretation here so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

I am going to do my best to describe to you hell. What hell will be like.

“Ibsaa don’t try and scare me!” Well hell is a real place, at least I believe, so I feel it necessary to talk on it. So here I go. Again, this is just my view or version of what hell will be like.

Let’s first start with your mind. We all go through suffering in life. Nobody can initially run from it as it comes for us all. Parents abandon or ignore us as a child, we get bullied in school or jumped in the streets. Family or friends die and accidents happen. None of us can run from those things in life.

When suffering happens to us in our childhood we, in most cases, go from a sweet-loving child to a child boiling with anger or frustration inside. That anger continues to get stronger and stronger as we age if it is not dealt with or understood.

So for me, in my parents divorcing, I was initially bothered by it. Then as I got older and my dad didn’t come back, I became angry. The fact that I didn’t get along with my new step-father only made the situation worse by turning the anger I had for my actual father into hate. Hate that he left me to this new man who I didn’t like.

I ended up not only taking my now hate out on my father by hardening my heart towards him, but at my mother as well. Thinking that it was her fault too.

But by becoming angry like this at both of my parents, I did something far worse than I ever realized. I broke one of God’s Ten Commandments.

12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you (Exodus 20:12).”

I no longer wanted to listen to what my mother had to say. I pushed back actually with anger and aggression in my younger years when she would tell me to do things. Now we are better, but only after I drew close to God and He helped me realize this. That by breaking one of the Ten Commandments as a child I, in turn, broke them all as James 2:10 says.

“For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it (NIV).”

So God had to take me to the root of my pain to receive healing. To end that suffering I was going through.

But had I not drew close to God, I believe my mother and I would have continued to butt heads. Maybe for the rest of our lives. So that brings me back to suffering. That brings me back to hell.

The Bible reminds us to repent of our sins (1 John 1:9), but to me, that doesn’t just mean praying 1, 2, 3 or a million times that God forgive you for the sins of your past. You may believe that repenting will help you avoid hell and maybe even end your suffering or anger towards another person. But when people die on earth and see God, but are told they will spend eternity in hell and not heaven, even “Christians,” hell and Matthew 7:21-24 reminds us why.

Matthew 7:21-24 (ESV)

I Never Knew You

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’


You only change for people that you care about.

Maybe not all of the time, but in most cases.

If I tell my younger brother to stop smoking and drinking as it is not only hurting him, but me too it may have a greater affect on him than if a man on the street did. As I know my brother more and maybe why he got into smoking and drinking. The person on the street could change my brother too, but I believe that my brother will change for whomever cares more for my brother as a person.

If I try to listen to my brother, pray for him, stick with him through it all it will show a great deal of care. Care that may make him want to change seeing how I stuck with him through the “bad” days.

If you see how much God has stuck with you though you might have been ignoring Him or pushing Him away, you will see how much He cares. And like for me in my last post, inspire you to do His will in life and not your own.

What people who enter hell are going to realize, is that all of the distractions stop. The trips to the Bahamas, your work life, the gym memberships, money and so much more. But your mind won’t. Your mind is how Satan’s demons will be able to torment you for eternity. Your mind is how Satan’s demons torment you now, though you may not realize it. But through distractions you suppress the pain. Through putting the blame on others, you deflect the pain verses embrace it.

For many people, the eternal hell is only a transition from their current life. Minus the earthly distractions, but continuing the mental pain. The mental torment. 

If you really look at the Bible, like Really, REALLY look at it you see something interesting. Something Very interesting in my opinion. John 3:18 (ESV):

“Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.”

Did you catch that?! “Whoever does not believe is condemned already.” Taking a look at the definition of condemn, I see “sentence (someone) to a particular punishment, especially death.” This takes me back to my previous post on the purpose of life, which I believe is to find yourself. Looking back on how I previously became angry at my parents for divorcing and that anger later turning into hate, it takes me to James 1:15 (NIV):

“Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

The desire I had to be angry at my parents eventually gave birth to dishonoring my parents and being rebellious. Losing respect for them.

Which is a no-no as we see in the Ten Commandments. Through breaking one of the commandments and thus all of them, it gave birth to sin. As the sin or anger at my parents grew over the years, it gave birth to death. The Ibsaa Jamal Adam born on June 22, 1989 in San Francisco, California was no longer alive. He was dead.

Many of us are dead and don’t even know it. At least I believe so.

They are awaiting their eternal death sentence in hell as an inmate in prison who is on death row is awaiting their execution date. Unless they come to Christ of coarse.

Which is why that verse hits me in that “but whoever does not believe is condemned already (John 3:18 ESV).” “Condemned already” is what stood out to me and made me believe this to be true.

Because The Bible reminds us that we all have sinned:

“Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins (Ecclesiastes 7:20 NIV).”

So we all are dead. Not after we croke, but NOW!

 That is until you find Christ and He breathes new life into you after you are saved. Why do you think the Bible mentions:

“Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again (John 3:3 NIV).'”

Being born again is a real thing. Unless you build a relationship with God now on earth and come to know His Son Jesus Christ, truly repent of your sins and become born again, you are a dead man or woman walking. You are dead and awaiting an eternal death sentence in hell whether you want to believe it or not.

Again, this is just my interpretation of The Bible. You can take it or leave it. 

Because as hell and Matthew 7:21-24 will reveal to us, without a relationship God can’t help you. Both on earth and for sure in hell.

Waking up, praying and asking God to forgive you of your sins and past means nothing without a relationship. He wants you to draw near to Him like you do your friends at the bar after work. He wants you to draw near to Him like your children. He wants you to draw near to Him like you do your dog.

He cares about you so much!

But Satan and his demons LOVE distractions! They love money, parties, girls and boys nights outs and trips to the Bahamas. At least before you are saved. Because Satan knows that when you are distracted by all of those things you have no time for God.

And when you enter hell, Satan’s demons get to throw it in your face.

“You could have come to Christ here on earth, but you chose to go to the Bahamas instead to deal with the pain of losing a girlfriend haha!” or “You spent so much time talking bad about others that you now see how jacked up mentally you’ve been all along haha!”

It’s utter torment for eternity. God nor Jesus want that for you. 

Now I appreciate not having a job for over a year. I was able to sit with God through all my painful days and nights and give Him my pain. With little money, I could barely go anywhere. With no job, I couldn’t distract myself with work. With barely any friends, I was home by myself most days and only had God to talk with. I struggled finding a girlfriend because I thought no woman would want me with no job, living at my grandmothers house in SF with tremendous debt to my name. I had my family, but they couldn’t understand the extent of my pain.

So this alone time with God where to the world it seems like nothing has happened in my life and I may look like a bum, I secured salvation for not just myself but my family as well. As Acts 16:30-31 reminds us:

30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household (NIV).”

My family along with me will spend eternity not in hell, but in heaven with me, God, Jesus and others because of my obedience to sticking with the faith through the toughest of days and finding life in Jesus Christ. To me, that is the best gift that I could ever give my family for Christmas and I couldn’t stop crying thinking about that the other day. Thinking that my wife and kids as well will be saved is an AMAZING feeling. It almost makes being single not that bad anymore haha.

Knowing that I have a Real gift to give my future wife outside of a ring, house or even car. Which mean nothing compared to Jesus.

Because as 1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) shows us:

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

It was my duty as the man to find salvation. Not just for my current family but future generations.

“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:3).”

Being the head of my future family, I had to build the relationship with God now. Which lead me to Christ and revealed so many things to me. It has revealed to me that what I seek in a spouse one day is not looks, or a great personality. Not even a woman with a good heart. What I seek is a woman with Godly wisdom. 

Wisdom that God speaks highly about as we see in Proverbs and other parts of the Bible. Proverbs 26-31 (NIV):

She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

It also says in verse 10, “]A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” So she will not be easy to find it seems.

But in a nutshell, don’t just pray to God at night and in the morning. Don’t just come to Him when you need something. Build a true, genuine relationship with Him. Ask God how He is doing each day. Ask Him why you struggle to pray if you do. Ask Him what He likes to do in heaven for fun.

God is fun, but like I said in my last post, His will ain’t no joke. But it brings you closer to Him which I is extremely beautiful!

And nobody can take away your relationship with Jesus and God. They can take your house, your family and your health like they did Job in The Bible, but they cannot take away your relationship with your Father and Savior.

So I encourage you to ask God questions as He really loves that! Listen to your heart for the answers He provides.

Because to me, repentance shouldn’t be a causal prayer. After building a solid relationship with God He may reveal to you something you did in your past to hurt Him. And as you can imagine with a parent you love A Lot, when you hurt them it hurts you. So for me, after bringing all my pain to God and asking Him questions for months He revealed to me that He was hurt I aborted some children with my ex. I paused at my house in SF and almost broke down in tears. I apologized or repented genuinely because God had become my friend and I felt like I hurt Him by aborting children. It hurt me that it hurt Him.

That to me is true repentance. 

Like I said earlier, you only change for people you care about. Learn to care about God and see that He cares about you too. He always has even when you didn’t talk to Him often or hated Him. Don’t let Satan’s demons remind you in hell remind of a lost relationship with God and Jesus on earth. Earth is temporary, at least this earth, but hell and heaven is Forever!



Take Care