I get it. I finally get it now.
What is it that I get you might be asking? I get, at least I believe so, why I don’t have a woman in my life right now.
I read a book a while ago called “The Wait” by Devon Franklin and his wife Meagan Good. If you don’t know, Devon Franklin is a pastor as well as a movie producer and his wife is a famous actress. They both teamed up to create the book “The Wait” which focuses on saving sex till marriage and what to do while you “wait.”
I highlighted points from the book that stood out to me way back when I first read it (listened to it actually on Audible). But it was something that my pastor said to me yesterday that made me recall what Devon Franklin said in his book. Both my pastor and Devon Franklin said the same thing.
That before you find your wife or who you are meant to be with, you should be in tune with God’s Vision for your life.
That makes a ton of sense! Here I am looking for my wife, but I still have no clue what career field I want to pursue. Yes, I said I am interested in becoming a pastor, but what type of pastor? I don’t know.
It all makes sense now. In a way I am glad I haven’t found my spouse yet so that I can truly hone in on what it is God wants me to do with my life. Plus I don’t have any external distractions from my wife or girlfriend pulling me to do this or do that.
My grandfather, before he passed, used to always say when I would ask him about what type of woman I should look for to “find a woman going your way.” I have to find out which way I am going first before I find a woman going my way.
I never understood what he meant back then. But 3 years after he passed away I finally understand what he meant.
Thank you God and Thank you Poppy!
While I wait, I can just focus on listening and talking to The Lord about what it is He wants me to do with my life. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 talks all about this. How you should devote this time of singleness to chasing The Lord and not your future spouse.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
– New International Version
So this time of singleness shouldn’t be a time of despair, but of excitement and expectation.
Staying in God’s Word each day expectantly waiting on what He wants me to do with my life. Also excitingly knowing that it’s coming. Not just my wife, but God’s Will for my life.
I’ve had some pretty low days this past week, but I haven’t stopped chasing God. Staying in His Word daily and seeking Him for guidance and strength because it’s been tough.
Feeling lost, confused and frustrated is not a good mix. Feeling lost, confused, frustrated and alone is even worse. I need God now more than ever.
On top of staying in God’s Word to see what it is God wants me to do with my life, Devon mentioned two other things you need to have together before you find your spouse. That is being mature and self-aware.
I wholeheartedly agree here as well. When you are a parent and go out into a crowded park on a Saturday you will keep a close eye on your child. You don’t want to lose them amongst all the people. It’s all the same when you are an adult with no child. Even as an adult you can get caught looking around at the crowd of people and lose yourself. Forgetting who you are in the midst of the sea of different people. So it’s all the same to me. Both when you have a child and don’t. You always have to stay close; whether it’s to your child or to yourself.
You need to be able to know who you are in the midst of this busy, crazy world we live in. Know your gifts, traits, abilities, passions and more. Know what it is that makes you unique and different from everyone else in the world.
You need to not just know, but believe it – feel it! Know yourself that you are a one-of-a-kind, custom made, Mighty Hand crafted creation made by God in which no other is the same as you. Not now, not before, NOT EVER!
Once you believe and feel that everyday, you have become self-aware. At least I believe so.
Lastly, maturity. Now being jokey is cool and fun, but you have to know when to be serious. For me, I love to laugh, crack jokes and be goofy. But I know when it’s time to get serious as well. So I believe that I’m good in the maturity department, though there is always room for improvement.
Growing up with my grandparents helped a lot!
Where I really need help in, I believe, is self-awareness and being in tune with God’s vision for my life. I will continue to read God’s Word a chapter a day, talk to Him and allow Him to talk to me. Not stopping my pursuit of Him by any means; whether I’m single or not.
Also, here is a list of what Devon Franklin says to do while you wait.
1. Go to church consistently
2. Visit parents and old friends
5. Focus on your career advancement
6. Launch a business
7. Learn to meditate
8. Get a pet
9. Learn to cook
10. Try new restaurants
11. Start writing that book that you’ve been putting off
12. Live in the present moment
I’m working on the cooking part. I’m really enjoying it too. You can kind of look at cooking like a metaphor for our lives. You take one main food item, like steak for example, then add other ingredients to it that make it come out flavorful and enjoyable. Those ingredients you add may not taste good on their own, but when added to the steak with the other ingredients they mix well. Like us humans. We are the steak and God is adding the ingredients of life such as suffering, love, joy, pain and so forth to mix into who we are. And if you allow the meal to cook in full, allowing the proper timing for it to fully cook till its complete and ready, it will come out well done.
Haha, I may have been reaching on that one but it sounded good to me.
So yeah, I believe being in tune with God’s vision for your life and actively pursuing it, being mature and self-aware are the major keys in not just finding your spouse, but in truly pleasing God. Because to have all of those character qualities, they all start with having a relationship with The Lord.
Take care and God Bless.