Who says once we hit 18 we all of a sudden become adults? If that is in the Bible somewhere, please direct me to that scripture.

As I get older, I’ve realized one thing – with age comes more responsibility. Not only that, but with age comes wisdom.

I honestly learn a lot about myself from blogging.

What I’ve learned today is that I’m a grown child. Yes, my outside body grew, my facial hair came in and my metabolism doesn’t work as good as it used to, but inside – like inside, inside – the child in me has never truly grown up.

He is trapped in their with no idea how to get out.

As a grown child, I’ve been trying to act like an adult. Be the “man” I saw in my different households, on tv or just outside in the world.

But it’s not working. Pretending to be a “man” when I’m really not.

I’m a scared child acting like an adult.

I crave to be the child I never got a chance to be. The child that was taken from me by wishing to be like others.

The grumpiness I saw in my grandfather & abusiveness I saw in my step-father just isn’t cutting it anymore. That can’t be how to be a man.

There has to be another way and I need for God to help me find that way. I pray for God to show the inner child within me a way to come out, release himself and grow into the man he is supposed to be.

The man God wants him to be.

I can’t run around playing with toys, my friends and video games whenever I want as I now have responsiblities as an “adult,” whether I like it or not.

So I just pray that God helps me stop being the grumpy, abusive and lustful man I saw growing up and became. But rather helps me unleash and become the man he destined for me to be. When the time is right.

In Jesus name, Amen.

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