It’s true, I do. I miss my Ethiopian people.

My father is Ethiopian just so you don’t think I’m crazy for Ethiopians.

My dad has been out of my life since I was 7 years old and I haven’t seen him since. I am actually back living in the house where I most likely last saw him in San Francisco, 20 years later.

Crazy, huh?

But that’s life.

At least for me it is. My parents divorced and I haven’t seen my pops for 20 years. Yes, I have grown into a nice, well-rounded young man – if I don’t say so myself – but inside I still miss him. I still miss my Ethiopian roots.

My last girlfriend for those who don’t know (which is everyone reading this) was Ethiopian. I had thought she was the one and thought, “Man, how cool. Look how God brought me an Ethiopian woman to marry who would help me reconnect with that other side of me that I’ve been craving for so long. How Crazy and AMAZING is that?!”

My mom is American by the way. So I’m only half Ethiopian, as funny as that sounds.

Wing Stop order later today:

Me: “Yeah Bob, forget the usual half Mango Habanero, half Hickory Smoked BBQ wings today – let me get the half American, half Ethiopian.”

Bob: “Uh, Ibsaa – are you okay? You might half to go to the doctor as crazy as you are sounding.”

Just sounds funny to me, but back to what I was saying. Oh yeah, missing my Ethiopian roots.

So yeah, prior to my ex and I getting together I had always had a longing to reconnect with the Ethiopian side of my family, whether I knew it or not. It was only as I got older that my desire to reconnect grew stronger.

As I got older and realized I was Ethiopian, I would see Ethiopians out-and-about and just stare sometimes – heck I still do. I would follow them around the grocery store just to feel connected, even for a moment. Don’t worry, I never got that close and didn’t follow them for long at all. I’m no creep here.

main-qimg-5e539b71411b0d99933ac299c32b36ff

I desire so strongly for one of them to come over, not knowing who I am, and just embrace me as one of their own.

I’ve lived with my moms side of the family my whole life, which I am VERY grateful for, but I think it’s time to reconnect with my other side. I feel it.

My dad has been hard to reach since him and my mom divorced. Moving from place to place, changing phone numbers; it’s just hard to keep up with him. Even if I can’t find him, I would love to maybe meet up with some cousins or any family on his side one day.

That would be a true blessing!

My younger brother, who shares the same mom and dad as me has been to Ethiopia. Lucky him, right? I know.

He’s the only stable connection I have to my Ethiopian roots since we have the same dad. I guess if you put us both in the same room we make 1 full Ethiopian. Or do we make 1 full American?

Never mind.

Hopefully one day God will bless me with an opportunity to find my dad, his/my family, go to Ethiopia or even make some Ethiopian friends here in the United States.

I hope.

I’ve struggled making friends with Ethiopians here in the states in the past just because I don’t speak the language. Heck, I even forget I am Ethiopian from time to time until someone reminds me as they struggle pronouncing my name.

Pharmacist: “Is there an Ibass here? We have your meds.”

I just want to be accepted, embraced and loved by them. I want to learn more about them as I see so much of me in some of the Ethiopians I’ve seen on tv and online.

Losing my ex hurt for two reasons; one being I lost someone I truly loved and cared about; and two, I lost someone who made me appreciate and love myself more because of their nationalitymy nationality. Though she may have thought I was only bugging her by harassing her to bring me traditional food from her moms house or trying to hear her mother, who is from Ethiopia, speak on the phone – there was a reason for it.

There was a reason the only time I’ve ever danced at a party was when my ex invited me to her friends Ethiopian-style wedding. It was because, being at that party surrounded by Ethiopians, I felt like I was home in that moment. My soul felt alive, at home and at peace.

I crave that and I hope you bring me another opportunity God. This time one that lasts.

Thank you Lord for my ex and giving me this desire to reconnect.

P.S. Ethiopian food is the BOMB by the way!! If you haven’t tried it, I would highly recommend you try it. Oh, and don’t be healthy and get water when you go. Go with a carbonated drink as you might get a little gassy.

Alright – I’m out!

 

 

Advertisements