Good question, huh? At least to me it is.

Sometimes I wonder if me and you are really who God intended for us to be. Or did we just become what the world wanted us to be.

Are we living our life or the worlds life?

I was reading a book recently and it made an interesting point. It said that when we are children, we are in our truest form. We are more ourselves than ever!

Before our parents start redirecting our thoughts and activities to what they think is acceptable; before bullies start picking on us at school; before we are forced to find a job to just pay the bills. Before all of these events take place, we are our truest selves, I believe.

Maybe some of us are true to form now and if that’s the case, you must have had some really good parents or a great support system to guide you through the obstacles and challenges of life. If so, God bless you.

But for those persons who didn’t have a support system to help them navigate and understand how to deal with bullies or how to come into their own skin as they got older, I am here to tell you that you are not alone.

You had to do what you had to do. I get it.

If your parents told you to play soccer but you loved volleyball, you had to oblige because they were your parents and you couldn’t just go out and get new ones. Plus they fed you, put a roof over your head and made sure you were taken care of, so you pretty much had no choice.

But maybe you would have grown up to become a professional volleyball player if you were allowed to continue being true to you.

Or maybe you were the goofy kid with glasses in middle school, but nobody at your school liked you. When you went home to seek love and support from your family there was none. So you did what you had to do to survive – you conformed. You became what your peers wanted you to be to survive and make it to the next day.

But maybe if you had parents that encouraged you to remain who you are no matter what others say, you would be in a successful career now as a movie director making kids movies because it reflects the goofy kid inside you. The goofy kid you still love to this day.

I can go on and on with a list of who we should be versus who many of us are today.

It’s not our fault. We had to do what we had to do to survive like I said earlier. Later in life you may have felt ready to finally embrace your true self, but it may have felt as if it was too late. Due to having a family of your own, career, and adult life that you have to worry about each day, it may seem as if there is no time to rediscover what you truly like or who you truly are.

What are your real passions, desires, values and morals?

Maybe you think completely different than the friends and family you’ve grown up with, but don’t even know it because you don’t even know who you are.

Well I’m here to say that I am on that journey to finding out who the real Ibsaa is.

I’m tired of letting society, online personality tests and those closest to me tell me who I really am and what career field I should pursue.

God knew me before I was born (Jeremiah 1:5 New International Version) and I know He has the key now to help me unlock who I truly am in the midst of this busy world we live in today.

It may take losing friends, feelings of extreme loneliness, pain, anguish, etc. But I believe – though I am not their yet – that it will be worth it in the end.

I want to live a full life in the way God designed for me and I also want God to recognize me when I die and come face-to-face with Him.

If you yourself don’t want to embark on this journey with me, all I ask is that you don’t repeat the cycle with your kids and grandkids. Teach them that it is okay to be who they truly are. If they like soccer, but you want them to play basketball – let them play soccer. If they are being bullied at school, let them know that you love them just the way they are and to never change. And if they have no clue what they should be when they grow up, bring them to God who created them.

Because the inventor always knows for what purpose they created their invention for.

By drawing closer to God, I believe that we will draw closer to our true selves.

Though I am 27 now, going on 28 – I want to find out who I am before I have a family of my own. I want to love who I am and feel comfortable and whole in my skin before I teach my kids to do the same.

No longer feeling like I have to be like others to survive and be liked. I don’t have many friends now, which has led me to be this open and honest in my blogs. Because to me, I can’t go any lower than I already am, so it must up from here.

God Bless